“One hundred years?!” Trump repeated himself, fiddling in his pocket for a handkerchief to soak up his forehead sweat.
“Looking for your cellphone?”
Trump nodded, looking so wronged and so young.
“Good news is I have your cellphone!”
Trump’s eyes twinkled.
“Bad news is it’s practically worthless! AzureStar no longer has employees.”
Trump lurched forward. “I’ll talk to ’em. I’ll talk to the CEO. We’ll create jobs and get out of this mess!”
“No one cares about jobs, anymore, Donald. Look around you!”
Donald looked around him. One of the orcs was giving him the fish eye.
“Could use better lighting, I think. Come with me, Steve. We’ll go on the road like old times!”
Bannon clenched both hands inside his tattered trench coat. “Not gonna happen. Things have changed, Donald. Let me spell it out for you. Fuck, never mind that! I’ll just tell you! If there’s anyone resembling a President here, a man in charge, it’s me!”
Donald was about to blow his stack. “The people won’t stand for this!”
“Let’s cut the shit, cuck. No one is around to absorb the blow. Priebus is gone. Tillerson never made it back from Cancun. Kushner is in Texas doing quite well for himself. Point is, all of your old scapegoats are no longer here. Except me.”
“And the Clintons? The Obamas?”
“Okay, they’re still here…”
“Then all isn’t lost. It’s just begun…”
“No, listen. Donald. You’re done. Toast without caviar. Fuckin’ finished! Just accept it. You’re lower on the totem pole now, and I need you to do a job for me.”
“Jobs? I’m listening.”
“Go to the F.B.I headquarters. Hack into the computers and steal a file called “Some_Files.exe, and come back here. We’ll use that info to smear the FBI. Got it? Should I repeat myself?”
“No, Steve, I got it.”
“If you need to contact me for any reason, take this flute. It will summon a homing pigeon. Use it sparingly!”
Trump nodded, only to be knocked to the ground by the debris of an exploding wall to his left. He could hear Obama’s voice before he faded from consciousness. Everything was going to be okay. Obama was there to save him.
A Wasteland President, Part 3
A Wasteland President, Part 5